"Class. Attention class. It's Story Time. Today's story is about Paul O'Neill and his 1999 Topps Gold Label card."
("Oooooh, pretty card!")
("Who's Paul O'Neill?")
"Well, I'll tell you. He was the right fielder for the New York Yankees in the '90's."
"No, 1990's, Billy. He was originally on the Reds..."
"The Red Sox?"
"No, Johnny, the Reds. Now everyone please be quiet and pay attention. He was a pretty good hitter, had a great arm in the outfield, and had a mean streak that endeared him to the New York fans."
"En-deer-ed? Like Bambi?"
"No, Timmy. It means that the fans liked him a lot. No please keep it down so I can finish my story. Did you know that he was a direct descendent of Mark Twain?"
"Does that mean he killed Mark Twin, whateverhisnameis?"
"NO, it means that it was his ancestor."
"NO, NOW SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!"
"Why are you yelling at us?"
(Storms out of room.)