Bills and Browns

So, the purge starts, Or continues, depending on your point of view.

Yesterday, the Bills sacked head coach Dick Jauron after 3+ years of mediocrity. This after having dumped offensive coordinator Alex Van Pelt just before the season started. The O-line coach, Buell Ferry, takes over as interim head coach, and the front office is in disarray. Everyone is wondering if 91 year old owner Ralph Wilson still has the faculties to run the team, much less his own household.

Much of the airwave static centers around the same issues that the Browns face. Should the team hire a Czar/Tzar/Tsar, in the mold of The Tuna in Miami (Bill Parcells)? The names being thrown around include the usual suspects: Holmgren, Shanahan, Cowher, Schottenheimer.

Personally, I'm hoping that the headless Browns make a push to hire Cowher. He played for them, coached for them, and wanted the job before it was given to Another Nameless Losing Coach. As it happens, he went on to many fabulous years with the Steelers and a Super Bowl ring. Any team would be lucky to convince The Chin to be there coach-slash-general manager-slash-football operations kingpin. Here's hoping that the Brownies Can The Man (Mangini, that is) and start over. Again.

(Hey, that sounds like a great catchphrase: Can The Man! We can start an online petition. Let the fans be heard.)

As for the Bills, I don't think Holmgren or Shanahan would want to take over here, but Schottenheimer might be an interesting choice. He has the pedigree, and actually a better winning percentage than either of the other two. He played here. He knows the area, the town, and the franchise. He might be convinced to come back and help, as long as he gets full reign, ala Parcells.

This has been a bleak year for my football teams. The Bills look lost, and the Browns couldn't compete with Ohio State, much less Cincinnati.

Let the purge begin in earnest, I say.

The Mess in Cleveland

Right now, I would rather be a Detroit Lions fan, or a Tampa Bay Bucs fan, or a Buffalo Bills fan or even a Raiders fan (well, maybe not a Raiders fan) than a Browns fan. The team is a mess, and there is no hope for a recovery any time soon. The coach, a maniacal, self-obsessed, power-hungry knucklehead has decimated the team and broken them down to a special teams player (Josh Cribbs) and everyone else. And he's working on running the lone respectable player out of town because he wants a contract commensurate with his status as the best all-around football player in the league. Can't have anyone on the team who is good, you know!

Mangini has decisively gutted the Browns and simultaneously disenfranchised the fan base, as good a fan base as there is. First, he runs out a troubled tight end for a song, then trades the high draft pick for a few spare parts from his old team, then jerks around two viable quarterbacks, and to top it off, trades a true #1 wide receiver for some more spare parts. (Is he still on the Jets payroll??!!!?!?!)

Not finished yet, though. He can't get along with his hand-picked GM, so he fishes for dirt on him and has him unceremoniously walked out the front door of the complex by security, in front of everyone.

What the hell was the Lerner family thinking when they hired this idiot? It is obvious that the team is in a downward spiral that it is unable to pull out of until they bring in a proven winner like Cowher or Shanahan. Someone who knows how to motivate and call plays.

It is a sad day in Cleveland, and I certainly feel the pain that all Browns' fans are feeling these days. A once proud franchise has been brought to its' knees by one man, and there is no light at the end of this tunnel. Not even a merciful train.

Rants and Raves

Congratulations to Dave at Fielder's Choice for his Rays coming through to go to the World Series. I know how he feels (see Indians, Cleveland, 1995-1997) and how he could have felt had they lost the last three games of the series (see Indians, Cleveland, 2007). The Rays are a fun team to watch, and they are sincerely having a good time just playing the game. The Rays remind me of a sandlot team that wins the neighborhood championship, and the Sox are beginning to look like the Yankees: a Big Business with lots of bluster and seriousness, with very little enjoyment from succeeding as if it were just another day at the office. This may not be the most interesting World Series for the rest of America, but for purists who enjoy watching the game played for fun, it will be great.

Congratulations to Mario and Chris on extracting a sweet deal from Upper Deck. I have no problem with either one getting "free" product. They excel at their avocation, and deserve credit and props for giving us honesty, information, controversy and a bit of comedy along the way. Mario, don't give it ALL away. Keep a card or two for all the hard work you've done to get to this point. And Chris, don't be so modest and apologetic about it! (The "Joke" sign is lit.)

Sour apples to Jose Canseco (sorry, Mario) for being a big ol' crybaby. Maybe he did something good, unintentionally, by writing the book "Juiced" and its silly little sequel, but now he is whining that no one will play tiddlywinks with him anymore, so he is apologizing for writing all those nasty little things about everyone. Does he really think that anyone is willing to forgive him for tarnishing reputations, sullying the game and bringing shame on himself and baseball for taking drugs in the name of performance? He may not have been the first, nor will he be the last, to try to game the system, but he is certainly one of the three or four most infamous, and almost certainly one of the original over-juiced neanderthals to ever stick a needle in his posterior. The need to excel, whether self-directed or externally influenced, has permeated our athletics subculture and tacitly authorized anyone to use performance-enhancing drugs in order to be "The Best." Too many kids and young adults are now either dead or damaged from using PEDs, and much of it can be attributed to Mr. Canseco.

Open Letter to Kellen Winslow: SHUT THE F- UP! Us Browns fans are sick of all your crap that you have pulled, and the team has stuck by you through that stupid motorcycle stunt and the broken leg. Maybe they didn't sit by your bedside and pat your hand and say "Everything will be alright, my wittle angel!" but maybe they expect you to be grown up and take responsibility. I say "TRADE HIM" while his value is still moderately high. Heiden is a much better team player, and as the Giants game showed, he is more valuable than Winslow will ever be.

Open Letter to the Cleveland Browns and the Cleveland Clinic: You better find out NOW what is going on that six Browns have contracted staph infections in the past few years. This is not normal, especially not for healthy, athletic people. It appears to be a staph cluster, or maybe the new carpeting in the headquarters is a breeding ground. Fix it. NOW!

Mixed Bag

This wasn't the best weekend for Cleveland. The Browns looked terrible! No running game. Barely a passing game. And the defense, which was supposed to be improved, looked worse than last year. (Now THAT is hard to believe.) How long do you think the fans will give Romeo before they start to chant Brady Quinn's name? Derek Anderson did not look like the '07 Derek Anderson. Maybe he's too complacent and he has lots to lose, whereas last year he had nothing to lose. Braylon Edwards was non-existent, as was Winslow and Lewis, and where was this "burner" that was supposed to take the pressure off of Edwards? Oh, yeah, he has a cut on his foot! The only guy I'll excuse today is Joshua Cribbs. If he were playing, that would have made some difference.

My fantasy football team took a BIG hit yesterday. My starting quarterback is none other than (drumroll please) Tom Brady. I was a favorite going into the season. Now, I'm toast. I have Eli Manning, who is average at best, and I picked up Trent Edwards yesterday. My only bright spot was Michael Turner. Wow! 220 yards and 2 TDs. His legs look like my waist! Man, is he a bowling ball with fast feet!

The only bright spot of the weekend was Cliff Lee. He won his 21st game, and now is 21-2 with an ERA of about 2.25. Talk about a change in fortunes! If this were the Tour de France, he would be the center of doping allegations. If this were the MLB, he would be the center of the steroid controversy. Um, oh, yeah, this is the MLB. Good thing Cliff looks like he weighs 150 soaking wet. The Indians are also on a roll. I think they have won 14 of their last 20. Without CC! Finally starting to hit, although the relief pitching is still a mess. Hey, maybe Cliffy could play QB for the Browns? Too bad the Indians may have two consecutive Cy Young winners, but only one of them still on the roster.

                                              

Tribe trauma

This is a VERY frustrating year for my team. I am, and have been for 35 years, an avid Indians fan. Yeah, I'd been to Browns games at the old Stadium; Cavs (nee, Cavaliers) games at the Richfield county jail, and even old Cleveland Barons games at the old Arena on Euclid. (Whew, did I just date myself, or what!)

However, my favorite pass-time was taking the Green Line downtown and walking down West 3rd (?) to the old Municipal Stadium. Fifty cents or a buck for bleacher tickets. Several more if we wanted to hang out in the upper deck in right field, waaaaaaaaaaaay faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar baaaaaaaaaaack, past Luke Easter's seat. Good luck trying to sneak down to the box seats, where, oh, ALL of them were empty. The ushers kept you out, just in case there was a rush on the seats by (both of) the season-ticket-holders.

We used to keep ourselves entertained by betting with the vendors (when they bothered to come out there at all!) on whether Sid Monge or Victor Cruz would get the next guy out. I don't remember if we won or lost most of the time, but it kept things interesting.

I had to have, and always enjoyed, a foot-long dog with Stadium Mustard, a true delicacy if there ever was one (was there ever one?) from the Stadium. I can't remember which is the authentic mustard they sell in Cleveland now. My mom brings some up to me every once in a while, but it's not the same as on one of those foot-longs.

So, the Tribe has teased me, and my dad before me, for too many years. '95 was torture; can't hold a Game 7 lead, dammit! I had waited my whole life for ANY of the Cleveland teams to win something. Anything. Then that damn Craig Counsell and Edgar Renteria ruin it for me.

'98 was no better. At least that one was quick and less painful. Better the Braves than the Marlins!

Then last year. I thought this would be it. Great pitching. Good hitting. Momentum. Canadian Soldiers (bugs). The Works!

Then it all fell apart. And to Manny, of all the traitors. I could have dealt with Thome, but MANNY!?!!?!!??!

(I won't even go into the Cavs. Let's just say that I had enough at the Miracle of Richfield. Oh, Jim Chones, where are you now?)

The Browns. The Drive. The Fumble. The Despair. The Move. It's nice that Cleveland can sum it up with a Noun. Don't tease me, though, this coming year.

So, can the Indians turn it around this year? Is there time left? Can they overcome all the injuries and off-years? Amazing, that when they are supposed to be the cream of the crop, they get all this, this, this ... crap happening. And the White Sox are leading the division! AAAAAAARRRRRRGGH!

Everything has fallen apart. Is C.C. on the way out? Will Andy Marte ever break out of his 0-for-Cleveland slump? Will Asdrubal fade into obscurity as the baseball version of a one-hit-wonder? Will the Pronk ever return to his old form? Much to ponder....